I came across this list of actual newspaper ads the other day.

Want Ads

Wanted: Free Furniture. Full bed, end table, working lamp, and a working floor model TV. You’ve got to haul it.

For Sale

One pair hardly used dentures, only two teeth missing.

Toaster: Great fun for the whole family. Automatically burns toast.

15″ -diameter, 3-speed fan. It will oscillate if you walk in a circle around it.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. Excellent condition. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

Tombstone: Standard gray. A good buy for someone named Grady.